By Cindy Lumpkin

May 15, 2013

“It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world.”   John 16:21 New Living Translation

That is exactly how birthing purpose is! Of course, this isn’t a typical pregnancy that produces a human child; however, the process is much the same. God impregnates us with a vision or maybe a few different visions. No two pregnancies are alike, but both require a great deal of nurture. For some of us the pregnancy and labor is relatively short, while it can be much longer for others.

The latter is true of me. I had been carrying my purpose around for years…years. I was so full of it that at times I felt as if I would pop. I would allow glimpses of it to shine here and there. For the most part, however, I often ignored the labor pains and refused to push, thus delaying the birth of that which was inside of me.

Why would anyone refuse to push purpose out? After all, it is what God has ordained us to do. It is what drives us and sustains us. It is what makes us want to get out of bed even when we don’t want to. Purpose is what gives us hope to keep moving forward when life looks bleak. Purpose makes you make sacrifices. To give up on what God has called you to do is to give up on life. Purpose is just too precious to be kept inside of us, right?

I don’t think any of us intentionally abort our purpose. Nevertheless, the seed of purpose that has been planted in us have been entrusted to our care. We have to love it, nurture it and protect it from the ills of our society. It is our responsibility to carry it full term and to birth it in its seasoning. Sometimes we can step out too soon in our purpose, but then there are other times that we never step out at all. What can cause an abortion of our purpose?

Succumbing to fear is a major reason how one can abort her purpose. Not so long ago it was exactly what was holding me back from stepping out and doing what God has called me to do. I feared that people would talk about me, laugh at me and think that I wasn’t smart. I feared that people wouldn’t want to listen to me or think that I had anything worthwhile to say. Fear will cause you not to take action to stay paralyzed in one position. I once heard my pastor say that you can’t stop the birds from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from making a nest in your head. We might not be able to stop fear from presenting itself, but we can keep it from taking up residence within us.

Refusing to launch out is another reason abortions are so prevalent when it comes to purpose. A lack of confidence in the gifts and the anointing that God has on my life was yet another reason why I would not step out. Although God had showed himself time and time again in my life, I still often wonder if I had the skill needed to accomplish what I was impregnated with. But thank God, He doesn’t call the qualified, but he qualifies the call. He will give you the skill set needed to accomplish your purpose. All He is looking for from us is a willing body.

I like to think that I have officially completed the birthing process for my purpose. There came a point when I could no longer ignore the signs of labor. I just knew it was time for me to give birth spiritually. Now does that mean I am where I want to be or where I ultimately see myself? No! Not at all, however, just like a proud mother of her newborn child, the labor pains that lead up to the birth was easily forgotten. But know I look forward to rearing my purpose- just as I would a human baby.

Giving birth wasn’t easy, but neither was giving birth physically. I knew the time was nearing when the intensity of the pain increased. Of course the devil will not let you give birth spiritually without a fight.  But what he didn’t know about me was that I knew that my King had already won. So every time he tried to block my way, and there were many, I held firm to my faith.

Just like a mother experiences anguish in the birthing process that anguish leads to a birth of new life. Likewise, I knew and held to my faith that the anguish that I experienced in this process was meant to birth something out of me- my purpose. I am walking as Cindy Lumpkin, The LD Coach, sharing hope and dispelling myths about those with learning disabilities. What the devil meant for bad in my life, God turned it around for my good. Although I have birth this vision, I still have to grow it, protect and nurture it.

Just when I start to entertain thoughts of its too hard, it cost too much, will anyone see me as an inspiration and expert, will anyone be impacted by what I have to say…so on and so on, I remembered what a friend posted on her Facebook wall some time ago:

“When you get tempted to complain about and/or give up on your…[purpose]  because it’s not happening fast enough; just remember that’s usually when you’re closest to manifestation. Keep the vision and don’t settle!”

What has God impregnated you with to nurturer and birth out? Be courageous enough to birth in the right season and to rear it to maturity.

With Grace,
Cindy Lumpkin

Everyone is a Mother – Happy Mother’s Day! 

By Tameka Williamson

05/01/2013

“The purpose of our lives is to give birth to the best which is within us.” ― Marianne Williamson

Happy Mother’s Day to all the ladies of B.L.O.G. Magazine™ and our readership!

I know there are some ladies thinking “Well, I’m not a ‘mother’, so that doesn’t apply to me.” Let me tell you- that is not true. You may not have given birth physically to a child, but you have given birth to an idea, dream, or vision. You have also served as a surrogate mother or god-mother to a child. Regardless of how you look at it, you have given birth to something, making you a mother.  So, embrace motherhood and except my salutation to you: Happy Mother’s Day!

Since I am talking about mothers, you have guessed it…..May’s theme is commemorating the women who gave us life with a twist. Just as the seed was planted in our mother, she endured the gestation period where we were nurtured, developed, and grew.  Eventually, she birthed us into the world giving us life! As children of God, we go through the same process whenever we birth what He gave us and purposed us to do. It can be a business, clothing line, an idea, etc.  Whatever it is, it began with the planting of a seed. May’s theme is “Giving Birth to Purpose.”

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”~Psalms 139: 13-16 ESV

That’s right, you were created for a reason and there is purpose for your life! When your mother birthed you into this world, she gave birth to purpose. Your job is to discover your purpose and walk it out so the world can benefit.  B.L.O.G. Magazine is here to be your “Purpose Partner” and guide you through the process.

May’s articles are designed to light a fire inside of you; ultimately, drive you down a path of self-discovery, rediscovery, and self-sustaining. You will find stories on how to find your purpose, live with expectation, live on purpose and how our “Purpose Partners” led us to our purpose so that you can discover yours as well. Then we can celebrate and have a “Purpose Party!” Walking aimlessly through life with no identity, passion for anything or drive is not what God created you for. He said that He came for us to have life and have it more abundantly. That means living a life on purpose and for purpose.

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

As you prepare to enjoy another month of articles that empower, encourage and educate, I challenge you to take an introspective look inside, and ask yourself the following questions:

* Am I truly fulfilled deep inside with what I’m doing with my life today?

* Are there ideas, visions or dreams that keep me up at night I am sitting on?

* What is it I get joy when I’m doing it? Do you do it enough? Should you be doing more of it?

* What is it you do that brings peace, joy and inspiration to others?

Answering these questions will lead you identifying your purpose. Let it be your launch pad for getting on track with living an intentional and purposed filled life. Be inspired and encouraged to “Give Birth to Purpose” and cast out fear. We at B.L.O.G. Magazine believe in you, and know you can do it! Believe in yourself – Take action today.

It’s time to celebrate!  Congratulations on taking the first step toward birthing your vision…and Happy Mother’s Day!

With Grace,

Tameka Williamson

Editor in Chief, B.L.O.G. Magazine

Tameka Williamson, The WILL Power Success Coach, is a Best Selling Author and a 6 Sigma Black Belt in Lean/Process Improvement; who analyze and create systems for change.  She teach students  and leaders about the 6 WILLs needed to Win in Education and Life that redefine the word Possible so they can accomplish more FASTER. Being a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, she has developed programs around the 6 WILLs that bring positive, sustainable changes in people’s lives, businesses, and education.  Winning Intentionally at Leading Life (WILL) is modeled around establishing a vision, creating a plan of action, and then executing it so you can Get Noticed, Get Funded, Get Admitted and Get Hired. She is also a graduate of Southern University A&M College with a Bachelors of Science degree in Mechanical Engineering and Webster University with a Masters of Business Administration. Email: tlwblogmagwriter@gmail.com Website: www.willpowersuccesscoach.com & www.myowncollegecoach.com  FB: www.facebook.com/AuthorTwill and twitter www.twitter.com/AuthorTwill

Lillian’s Enchilada/Burrito Recipe

Ingredients:

1 pkg of chicken breast (boneless)

1 pkg of fajita seasoning, burrito seasoning or taco seasoning

1-2 medium onions (I like lots of onions) finely chopped

1 green pepper (large) diced

2-3 cups of cooked rice (jasmine rice adds a unique flavor)

5-6 diced, cooked potatoes seasoned well

8 tortilla shells

Lots of cheese

Enchilada sauce

Refried beans

Instructions:

1. Sautee or grill chicken breast, dice or slice…add onions, peppers, rice, potatoes refried beans bake for about 10-15 min on 375-400
2. Then add lettuce, tomatoes, guacamole and sour cream is optional…
3. Fill flour tortilla as needed, eat and enjoy
4. Filling can be used in burritos as well

Why I Shouldn’t Have Watched “Married to Medicine”

By Tamara Prosper

05/15/2013

Last night I stumbled upon a new television program called “Married to Medicine.” It’s about the lives of four women who are married to doctors, and two women who are doctors themselves. Like most of its “reality show” predecessors, it is a complete mess!  A good friend of mine, who happens to be both married to a doctor and a doctor herself, had already warned me about it, but somehow I was drawn in. When I started watching, everyone was enjoying an evening outdoors at the beautifully landscaped home of a mutual friend. The guests wore formal attire as they sipped wine and casually chatted with one another. This was no rock-n-roll/hip-hop video pool scene. As a matter of fact, the pool appeared to be no more than a lovely centerpiece around which affluent associates could circulate in an effort to discreetly see and be seen. Presumably, the event was hosted by and given for Atlanta’s elite ladies and gentlemen. Aside from a few pretentious personalities and the extreme bulk of several hair weaves, I found no reason to change the channel.

I was even more pleased when one woman chose to avoid causing a scene when an older woman began speaking to her in a way that I thought was out of line. Apparently the older woman took offense to the fact that the younger woman complemented the beauty of the host’s home but neglected to pay a similar complement to the host of a prior event. I learned later that the un-complemented host is the daughter of the older woman. That blatant pettiness should have clued me in, but I was just pleased to see Black women maintaining self-control in a reality show setting. I’m disgusted and bewildered by what appears to be a constant stream of loud, crude, back-biting, selfish, easily-angered Black women on shows like Love & Hip-Hop, Love and Hip-Hop: Atlanta, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Keshia Cole: Family First, and others of the sort. It seems like someone always feels disrespected, and therefore must fight.

For a few minutes I was lulled into believing “Married to Medicine” would be different. Of course it had the same set-up; wealthy people; women with attitude issues who can afford enough designer clothes to hide their flaws; fake hair, eyelashes and high end make-up to pass for pretty on television; people pretending to be friends and just enough drama to keep people watching. I kept watching. Really, since I was getting ready for bed I was listening more than watching. I heard a woman speak and I don’t know what she said but her tone held serious attitude. In response, another woman said something along the lines of, “My mother would never say anything like that.” Seconds later they were in a full on, weave grabbing girl fight. They went from being the gentry of Stone Mountain to the hood rats of wherever, in no time flat. I found myself sad and angry all at once.

I wondered how many other people were watching this, not through the eyes of a person who knows that our community is better than that, but through the skewed lens of ignorance. How many people of other ethnicities saw this and thought nothing of it, assuming that is how most Black women (except for Mrs. Obama, Ms. Winfrey and possibly Mrs. Huxtable) normally behave? How many young Black women saw this and thought, I would have smacked her too if she disrespected me like that…? How many people’s thoughts and ideas about Black women were shaped, even slightly, by this ignorant display of “reality?” Many people assume that someone with little money, few options and a life in a low-income community is more likely to act this way because they haven’t been exposed to anything better. They get a different kind of “ghetto pass” to behave badly because they don’t have much going for them. Yet the people on reality shows appear to have everything a poor person could want and they still behave with utter disrespect for themselves. What is going on?

Such displays are evidence that money can purchase many things, but respectful behavior and good manners are not among them. I know some of the women on these programs came from meager backgrounds and their current lifestyle is new to them. So what! People need to behave themselves properly whether they were raised in the projects or on an estate. It’s true that many people have never been taught self-control, patience and decent manners. That happens in every socio-economic group. We haven’t all been blessed with parents or other family members who were willing and able to guide us in the right direction. If mom disappeared, dad worked 16 hours a day and grandma was too old to keep track of what was happening, a child may have never learned that one can only be disrespected by ones own behavior. In other words, we can choose our responses to the behavior of those who mean us harm. Ladies! A hateful word from someone does not necessarily mean it’s time to Vaseline our faces and ask our friends to hold our earrings in preparation for a fight. Respectfully backing away from a fight does not indicate cowardice. In fact it’s often fear that causes people to fight in the first place.

I am a Black woman and I know plenty of women like me. I’ve lived on the East Coast, in the Mid-West and the Deep South and I know poor, middle-class and wealthy people in all of those places. Yet I’ve never seen grown women who supposedly have their lives together behaving the way that the new “reality” stars behave. I know that their lack of control is not indicative of the behavior of most Black women and I hope others know it too. I especially hope that little girls and young women don’t look to any of these people as role models. Reality television is not “real” and many of the women on those shows are just adult versions of confused, scared little girls, doing anything they can for attention, be it good or bad. I urge young women who lack guidance to talk to a teacher, a good neighbor or a good friend’s mother for advice. Imitate the behavior of a respectful lady in your community. Just don’t normalize the immaturity displayed by the few women who portray faux-friendships on reality television. Take this advice from Proverbs 16, The one who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and the one who rules her own spirit is better than the one who captures a city.

With grace,

Tamara Prosper

Contributing Writer, B.L.O.G. Magazine

Tamara Gaskins Prosper, is a believer in Yahweh and His son Yeshua. She is a resident of New Orleans, La, a graduate of Tulane University and the Social Services Director for one of what she believes to be the best Nursing Homes in the area. She loves working to assist the elders in her community and recently received a Nursing Facility Administrator (NFA) license, which she’s looking forward to using to make an even bigger impact on elder care. Tamara also has a great love for children, especially those who need more support than their families can provide. Most importantly she is a wife and a mother, positions which she feels both honored to hold and blessed to enjoy.

How to Cope with Grief After the Loss of a Loved One

By Tanisha D. Mackin

05/15/2013

DEATH – the five letter word that causes years of pain and sorrow….

When we lose a loved one to death, it is by far the hardest thing to deal with.  We think about not seeing them in the physical form, not hearing their voices or even not being able to talk to them.  These thoughts are a natural part of grieving.  Grief is a natural response to loss.  The more significant the loss, the more intense the emotion.  It helps to understand the five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. A person coping with loss may not necessarily grieve in this order, but they will go through these stages.

1. Denial (or shock) is often the first reaction to learning of a loved one’s passing.  It is hard to believe or accept that a person we care about is gone.  My first reaction to my husband’s passing was a numbness.  I thought I was in a dream and was going to awaken soon.  I did not cry, scream, yell.  My body and mind felt as if I was coherent.  I just simplywould not believe he was gone.
2. Anger is a second stage of grief.  This stage is where the realization that your loved one will not be returning really sinks in and it hurts.  You may become angry with yourself, family members, friends and even the deceased.  I remember looking at my husband’s picture and asking, “Why did you leave me?”
3. In the Bargaining stage, you feel helpless and question yourself a lot.  You bargain with God, and try to think of ways that your loved one’s death could have been prevented; “if only” you had done this or said that.  You wonder whether or not you did everything right; whether you took them to the doctor enough or what might have been different if had you had been there.  In my case, I questioned if we should have gone to that particular night club, or after he was shot, if I should have put him in the car and driven him to the hospital myself.  Would this have prevented his death? No! When we are created, we are given a birth date and a death date, so regardless of the circumstances, it was his time and no one could have done anything about that.  I had to stop beating myself up.
4. Depression can be defined as a feeling of hopelessness, a condition of mental disturbance, difficulty in maintaining concentration or interest in life.  Depending on how close you were to the deceased, depression can be an emotion that requires counseling or medication. At one point, I wanted to give up.  I was sad, scared, and lonely and I had no hope.  Depression settled in my mind and body. Focusing on my children helped me overcome this stage.
5. Acceptance is the final stage of grief.  Some people do not get to this stage, so for me, getting to this stage is a blessing.  Many are unable to get passed stages one and two (denial and anger).  I am still wrestling with acceptance.  I have accepted my spouse’s death, but I feel that the situation is unacceptable.

How do we cope with grief?  There is no right or wrong way to grievebleach individual will grieve differently.  Some may express their grief more than others; others may want to be alone all the time.  There are no time limits on grief.  When your grieving process is healthy, in due time, you will feel renewed and your emotions will permit you to move on.  Grieving is very normal and there are many ways to deal with grief:

1. Pray.  Ask God for help, strength and to relieve you from the pain.  Continue to pray, keep your faith and go to church.  All things can be done through Christ who strengthens us Philipians 4:13
2. Turn to your family and friends for emotional support.  Even if they don’t understand it helps to have a listening ear, a hug or just to have someone to sit in silence with you.
3. Consult a bereavement coach, grief counselor or therapist.  Friends and family want to help but aren’t always qualified. If your grief is too much for you to bear, consult a professional who can help you work through intense emotions.
4. Join a support group.  Grief can feel very lonely and it helps to be with others who are going through what you are.
5. Express your feelings in a creative way.  There are some mourners who write books, scrapbook, write poems, paint pictures, or exercise to express their hurt and pain.  This is a healthy way to channel pain and sorrow.
6. Do not let anyone tell you how to feel.  People with good intentions sometimes say the wrong things.  Words like “move on” “get over it” or “they are in a better place” can be very upsetting to a grieving person. They may think they are helping, but in reality they are adding to your pain.  Your grief is your own, and no one can tell you how to feel.
7. Visit a doctor.  Losing a loved one can add extra stress to your everyday life. Your health is very important even if it may seem like less of a priority in dealing with the days to come. Get a check up with your doctor to make sure that you are healthy mentally and physically.

With Grace,

Tanisha D. Mackin

Tanisha D. Mackin, Author, Bereavement Coach and Founder of the Mackin Project. A project that she created after she lost her husband to violence in August 2010. She is the author of Still Standing, a story of strength and perseverance and just released her second book, Still Standing II, A Widow’s Journey. Tanisha received her MBA in healthcare management but has focused more on her foundation which assists families who lost a spouse, child or parent to violence. She plans to start a foundation for cancer patients as well. Tanisha is a colon cancer survivor. Tanisha now resides in Georgia with her two beautiful children. Tanisha’s first book is a story of one women’s strength and courage as she deals with becoming a widow at a young age, being a single mother, dealing with cancer, and suffering multiple losses including the murder of her husband. Tanisha continues to share her testimony with others.

The Girl Who Doesn’t Let Epilepsy Get in the Way of Her Dreams

By Keshia Smith

05/15/2013

Kate Dolan, 24, says becoming independent has been one of the most difficult challenges she has had to face in life. She believes a big part of that independence is in finding employment. Although Dolan graduated from the University of Indianapolis in 2012 with a Bachelors of Science in Experimental Studies, she has had difficulty landing a job and believe it’s because of her health issues.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates that in the month of March 11.7 million Americans were unemployed. According to Dolan, finding employment can be even more difficult for people with disabilities.

“The job market is very tough right now but for me, it’s twice as hard as a person with epilepsy. You kind of get the feeling that you are being judged,” said Dolan. She also said “If I’m in an interview and people see me have a jerk, they will wonder what’s wrong with me and I will have to disclose my disability.”

Dolan has three types of epilepsy, including a rare form called Grand Mal. Because of this, she cannot drive. Some job-related tasks may trigger her epilepsy, such as stress or looking at a computer screen for an extended period of time. However, Dolan tells us that the list of things she can contribute to the job market is much greater than the list of things she can’t do.

“I still lived with high spirits even when facing my job hunt and everything. I am very persistent” says Dolan. While she is looking for a job, Kate volunteers with The Epilepsy Foundation and the Indiana Historical Society.

There are recourses available to aid people with disabilities through their job hunt. The U.S Department of labor has an Office of Disability Employment Policy to aid people with disabilities as they search for career opportunities. Many states have a variety of resources to help people with disabilities find jobs. In Indiana, one such resource is Nobel of Indiana.

Nobel of Indiana helps businesses hire and support individuals with disabilities by matching the employer’s needs with a job that match a candidate’s interest and skills. Rita Davis, who works as a communications consultant with Nobel of Indiana, says that hiring people with disabilities will not only help the person with a disability, but also the company and the community.

“It’s not an act of charity. There are tax incentives for companies who hire people with certain disabilities, but once they hire the person they realize how much of an asset they are to the company. We give them a place to come in, but they earn a place a stay” said Davis.

Recently, after a long job hunt, Kate was offered a full time position with the Autism Society of Indiana where she will help to create a support group for teens with various disabilities. Kate wants to encourage other people who have disabilities to press on despite adversity.

“I am finding ways to live a normal life. Don’t let other people put a label on what you can and cannot do” says Dolan.

Kate Dolan wishes the government offered companies more of an incentive to encourage companies to hire people with disabilities. She insists that employers should never judge a book by its cover.

“Don’t judge” says Dolan. “There is a huge world out there with people that most every company is missing. They may be different than you, but don’t shut these people out.”

With grace,

Keshia Smith

Contributing Writer, B.L.O.G. Magazine

Keshia Smith is a recent graduate of Ball State University. She is currently working as a freelance writer for CSI Ministries in Muncie, Indiana. In her free time Keshia enjoys photography, daydreaming, travel, singing poorly, and staying up late to have long, philosophical conversations with friends.

Get Started Taking Control Over Your Chaos!

By Myckelle Williams

05/15/2013

As a mother of 6 children, along with business owner, wife, and ministry program coordinator, I know that time is something that often very limited. It seems as if there is not enough time in the day to coordinate all of the things that you have going on. Often times, it gets so overwhelming that you end up giving up, and not getting ANYTHING done. I was once that way. When it came to cooking, cleaning and organization I had no clue.  Consequently, I would jump up and try to get order in my life, except, I wouldn’t even know where to start, and would just end up right back in bed, exhausted. I had no one to take me aside and teach me how to organize my home, and therefore my household was chaotic, and my stress level was through the roof.  However, over time, I developed several strategies for organizing my life that helped me along the years, and now my home and schedule runs like clockwork! So be encouraged, it is possible to create order out of chaos!  Women always visit my home and ask me the secret on how I do it.  So, my goal is to share tips and ideas that can help women everywhere to maximize your time and organize your world.  Each month we will expand on these steps until your life and home are running like clockwork!

Let’s talk about getting Started………Here are three simple tips to work on for now:

Note: If you have children, they should also be involved in this process; otherwise, they will simply mess up right after you clean up. This also will teach them organization skills that they need to learn for their own future households. Organization should always be a family project.

1. Get rid of the JUNK – As a child I once lived with a hoarder. Possessions filled the home until there was no room to walk around.  I know that either we can own our possessions, or we can allow our possessions to own US. When I started to work on organizing my own home, one of the first things I did was head to the store and bought a huge box of hefty garbage bags. I started with one room each day in the house (if you try to do more, you may get overwhelmed) and went through each drawer, cabinet, closet and shelf and decided to put everything into three categories: 1) what to throw away, 2) what to give away, and 3) what to keep. Many times I noticed that we hang onto stuff that we just need to let go of. (This is even often true of people and relationships, but that is an article for another time Basically, when I look at an item and I haven’t used it in over one year, usually it’s time to let it go. Ask yourself questions like, ‘why do I still have a Rubix cube from 10 years ago, and no one touches it?’ Get rid of it! Yes, some things bring fond memories, but those memories will always be in your head and heart, whether or not you own the article itself. As someone who has suffered through two housefires and lost everything, material things can easily come and go. You also may want to plan a community yard sale with your neighbors for the things that go into the ‘Give away” pile. Or just bless someone else: take those things straight to Goodwill or the Salvation army, or a family in your neighborhood that is in need. You will feel much better when you have cleared some space in your home. Always keep a trashcan in each room so that in the future you can quickly throw things away before they start to collect.
2. A place for everything – There is nothing worse than always searching for something! Go through each item in your ‘to keep’ pile and throw it in the middle of the room. Then, get creative with storage… Tupperware bowls, clear shoe boxes, pretty baskets, decorated buckets, etc. can all serve to store items, containers that not only look pleasant, but can hold your items with ease. Then find a place for each container that you will remember later. Always keep each item in the same place afterwards for easy access. Scissors, pens, socks, etc. You may start with buying labels, and making sure that the containers are labeled. Even my kids’ dresser drawers had labels: socks, shorts, etc. until it came naturally. Sometimes you have to remind yourself (and your children) where everything goes.
3. Make it pretty – When something looks nice, you want to keep it that way. By buying inexpensive decorations, you will feel good about maintaining the environment. You don’t have to spend a lot of money either…thrift stores are filled with cool items for a home, and your kids can make art that you can frame. Basically, every room in my house has three main decorations: a plant, a rug, and at least one framed wall picture. Painting is also an option, even if it’s just one accent wall. My children and I will buy paint and do it together as a family. Line your drawers with wrapping paper, buy candles that smell good. Play soft instrumental music. You feel better when your environment is one of peace and organization.

We will discuss more tips throughout the year, but it all starts with these three steps. Clean out the old to make room for the new.

Happy Cleaning!

With Grace,

Myckelle Williams

Co-Founder, B.L.O.G. Magazine

Myckelle P Williams, co-founder of B.L.O.G. Magazine™, host of BLOGTalk Live! monthly Christian radio show, and creator of the Heartwood Project™ for Women, lives in Tennessee with her husband of 20 years. She is the mother of 6 children and two grandchildren. Once a teen mother who overcame the odds, Myckelle helps empower women to overcome the traumas of their past, and mentors young women over the country. She was featured on “Joy in our Town” on TBN Network, for her development of the PURE Satisfaction™ Abstinence Program in Atlanta in 2009. She is the author of the book ‘Choosing the Road Less Traveled: Finding Grace on the Path to Purpose, which is available on amazon.com. For more information about her upcoming Heartwood Project™ Seminars, you can reach Myckelle at myckelle@mpowermentww.org

By Silk Jazmyne Hindus

05/15/2013

My brain was enslaved

Not by society, family, nor faith

When I discovered my captor, who had my thoughts and actions mastered,

I was shocked and amazed at the face

It belonged to me

Thoughts, like actions, eventually become habits

I was like the earth around the sun

Or the moon around the earth

Traveling so fast that when I collided with anything it ended in hurt

My frustration of never making any progress seemed to periodically throw me off my axis

Until the day came when I said

“I need peace” my brain questioned “Who has it?”

I remembered a truth taught to me as a youth

A man who came because God so loved the world,

Came for me too

After the first dip into this knowledge

After the first sip of his water I was hooked

The chains holding my mind

and the black hole I called time faded away

Climbing out of the dungeon with my bare hands and feet

I wondered if it even compared to his trek through

Yelling people on that dirt street

I arrived outside, breathed in the fresh air and soaked up the light

I wondered why I wasted so much of my life

Fear is a deceiver

It actually had me believing I wasn’t good enough

Like who am I to chase peace

Isn’t the road to perfection paved by grief?

Study revealed that it’s mercy, not sacrifice, he seeks

So I stopped my self-mutilation

Refused to engage in soul depreciation and I accepted my salvation

Freedom never tasted so good

With Grace,

Silk Jazmyne Hindus

Contributing Writer, B.L.O.G. Magazine

Silk- Jazmyne Hindus is a graduate of Florida International University with a Degree in Communications and is currently working part time as a Promotions Assistant/Traffic Assistant for CBS Radio Tampa/St. Pete. In her spare time she reads and writes poetry and short stories. She currently plans to pursue a MFA in Creative Writing in order to become a college professor and novelist. She would like to publish her first book before the age of 35.

Moving from Mommy to Mother

By Kairis Chiaji

05/01/2013

In an instant my entire being was consumed. I thought I knew what love was. I truly loved his father unconditionally. But this, this was something so big my mind could hardly contain it. Suddenly, I had an inkling of the heart it took to “sacrifice His only Begotten Son.” Now I had one of my own. Dangers like homelessness, survival statistics for black males, and being “on call” 24/7 became very real. So did my relationship with my Creator. Something this precious deserved more than my inadequate best. I needed a God who would shore up the difference between who I was and what my baby boy needed in a mother.

I progressed from 6cm to 10cm in half an hour. Five minutes later (completing an unheard of first-time total of 4.5 hours active labor), I had a son. I should have known then how amazing my firstborn would be. Back then “six-three” were pounds and ounces; 21 years later it’s feet and inches. My heart still nearly bursts from my chest when I think of the strapping young man-mountain finishing up his junior year at a university. All I did was blink and the babe I held to my breast can now lift me off the ground with all the effort of an afterthought. As impressive as he is in stature, that is not the source of my pride. Neither is it his compassion, his zeal for justice, his musical ability, nor the seriousness in which he takes his role as “big brother.” The most amazing thing about Dwight Jaron Sanders is his Christ walk. One need only be in his presence for a matter of moments before his outloud zeal and commitment to winning souls for the Kingdom of God becomes evident. God has indeed answered my prayer to fill my son with everything I didn’t have in me at 21 years old.

It hasn’t always been smooth sailing. I had been warned about age 9 being a preview of age 12 (but nobody told me the testiness didn’t stop at 10). I taught parenting classes for my county for years. In theory I understood that from age 12 to 16, adolescent brains are undergoing major reconstruction, leaving teens incapable of being content for very long, and good decision making skills seem often to escape them. I had even studied enough human development to know that the part of the brain that controls risk assessment isn’t fully developed until age 25. So those tumultuous junior high and early high school years were to be expected. There were details I couldn’t have predicted (like the pet rat he somehow tricked me into keeping in our home, or the time he decided to run away barefooted to McDonalds) any more than I could have pre-determined my son’s personality before he was born. Fortunately we have a strong family and support circle built intentionally for those times as well as celebratory occasions. I still become emotional at the memory of Dwight’s Rites of Passage ceremony at age 15 where we, his community, welcomed and accepted him as a young adult. At 17 he traveled alone to Central America where he volunteered in clinics in Honduras, providing medical care for people entrenched in poverty he had never before witnessed. That experience was only surpassed by his work with Hatian refugees, counseling teen boys through the anger and frustration of their circumstances, the following year. By the time he left for college, being 3,000 miles from home didn’t seem so intimidating.

There have been many ups and downs as I learned how to parent an adult child. My son has been patient through my learning curve. Recently I was blessed with the opportunity to apologize for all of the mistakes I made during his childhood. The grace with which he received my apology stopped and restarted my heart. That will be the smile I wear in heaven.

The greatest challenge in parenting wasn’t the terrible twos, the teen years, or anything in between. The most difficult part of parenting in our 21-year commitment (my parents are laughing out loud as they think of how many times I’ve moved back home) is learning how to stop. True mastery is when a parent understands that their child is no longer a child. For all of us future and present “empty nesters,” here are a few tips that will ease your transition from motherhood to mother:

Trust that God’s plan for your son or daughter is better than anything you could dream for him or her. Nothing your offspring does is going to catch Him by surprise. Even more encouraging, He knows exactly how many mistakes they need to make in order to come to a place of fulfilling their purpose. In short, God’s got this! It is difficult to stay out of the Lord’s way, but when we strip it down to basics, children are a gift we get to experience. Ultimately they belong not to mom, but to the Father.

Allow your young adult to experience their consequences. Detachment is probably the most difficult skill to practice. As caregivers it’s difficult to watch loved ones go through difficult situations. The good news is detaching is not the same as being uncaring. It simply means you no longer take the actions that assist your children in keeping a bad habit. A 16-year-old whose mother pays their speeding tickets will continue to get tickets. A 16-year-old whose parents take the car keys still gets tickets, but they are the kind for the city bus.

Don’t expect your child to have the sense you took a lifetime to collect. Smart children are a blessing. Sometimes this causes us to have unrealistic expectations. It is only when that intelligence is added to life experience that true wisdom is born. Everyone has the right to make mistakes and the responsibility to learn from them. It makes perfect sense to you to pay bills before buying a new pair of shoes. An impulsive, first-time paycheck earner might have to go a week or two with a disconnected cell phone to garner that same priority. They will learn (if you let them instead of rescuing). As the elders are fond of saying, “Just keep living.”

Your child pulling away is a good thing. Parenting books don’t tell us our children will come with opinions – at age 6 months or sometimes sooner. We have to figure that out on our own. Still, the first five years are nice because we are infallable as far as our babies are concerned. As they get older they start to believe they are smarter, but they are generally still subject to our authority. Toward the end of childhood and often sooner, young people begin to exercise their own logic and reasoning. They may even confound us by presenting logical arguments against our rules and traditions. It doesn’t feel good and the authoritarian in us may be tempted to fight it tooth and nail. Still, it means their minds are working and it’s time to let them gain experiences that will lead them to the knowledge you want them to have. We don’t want harm for our loved ones, but we don’t want to rob them of opportunities to become whole.

Take care not to cause emotional damage with your words or actions when you experience frustration. Your child will make as many changes between age 15 and 25 as they did from age 2 to 12. The friendship you want to have with your adult child can be destroyed before it begins (and potentially the chance for any healthy relationship) when negative messages are imprisoned inside developing minds. It is said we spend our entire lives trying to recover from our relationships with our mothers, good or bad. We can be intentional in our behaviors and attitudes so that the stories our children have to tell about their experiences in our homes are positive. This will affect the kind of adult they become and how much they trust your input in facing life’s challenges.

Guard against letting your ego be larger than your child’s need for unconditional love. Big disappointments can knock even the best mother off her “A” game. Unplanned pregnancies, poor relationships, unlawful sex practices and orientation, dropping out of school, denouncing their faith, jail, drug and alcohol abuse – any of these choices can be a Christian parent’s worst nightmare. Believe it or not, these are the times we need to show the most compassion. Your response can make or break the decision to come to a place of repentance. The one thing nobody wants to explain to Jesus is why He forgave and they didn’t. Grace and mercy are two parenting tools we can’t afford to be without.

Hopefully these tips will help you have peace as you move through this next phase. As with every stage of maturation thus far, you are both moving into unchartered territory. The difference is this time you take a step back and let the young man or woman before you take the lead. Learn to trust the seeds that you have spent 18 years planting will take root in God’s time.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6 NIV

With Grace,

Kairis Joy Chiaji

Co-Editor & Contributing Writer, B.L.O.G. Magazine

At 40-something Kairis is the Mother of three biological children, and four more born in her heart. She’s a Labor Coach, providing family labor support as a professional and community Doula. She approaches the world from that viewpoint; holding your hand, reminding you to relax, breathe, trusting God with your purpose, no matter what your situation is giving birth to. She’s a volunteer teacher for homeless women, a project manager for a pregnant teen mentoring program, on two non-profit Boards, and a praise dancer. She also has a passion for natural beauty; a self-employed, self-proclaimed natural hair artist, escaping only to coach laboring women at whatever hour a baby decides to enter the world. Doulas, like Brides of Christ, are on-call 24/7.

Unto Us a Child is Born and Growing Up is Hard To Do

By Lillian Cochran

5/1/2013

 “Be a Mother who is committed to loving her children into standing on higher ground than the environment surrounding them. Mothers are endowed with a love that is unlike any other love on the face of the earth.” ― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

 As a child growing up life was full of adventure as I felt like the luckiest little girl in the world. The youngest of eight girls; I was privileged to have at least three mother figures in addition to my mother. My siblings were tasked with the job of looking after me while mother was at work, no easy task I can assure you since rambunctious was my middle name. Years would come and go while playing in the warm sunlight or stomping through mud puddles in the rain as I listened to my sister/mothers demand that I go outside and play or stop creating such a mess with tracking mud into the house.

With the dawn of each day came the excitement of something new. So sit back and enjoy my tribute to all of the ladies whom have shaped my life in remarkable ways from my sisters to my mothers. As a courtesy I will change their actual names to protect their personal identity.

To:  Brunhilda the strong silent warrior sister that always protected me from all sorts of boogey men and things that went bump in the night. I take from your upbringing the strength of a female warrior. A woman that in the face of very tough odds has shown me how to be strong and hold my ground no matter what it looks like. This strength has served me well and continues to be pulled upon in my own day to day life scenarios as needed. When mother was away at work, I still felt safe in your care because I knew that my sister/mother was on the job and would let nothing or no one harm me. The sense of pride I felt in being your little sister could have easily been described as a badge of authority that is worn proudly to this day. Without your influence I would not be the strong woman I am today.

To Arielle:  The playful wishful thinker whose head was always in the clouds and scanning the horizon for new adventure. My dear sister we have shared many laughs and exciting conversations about what if the earth was flat, or what if there are other life forms where would they live? Do they look like us? Act like us? Think like us? I sure hope they aren’t hungry because my other sister/mother didn’t cook dinner yet. If it were not for your adventuresome spirit, my own spirit wouldn’t know how to reach for the universe and touch the skies. I know my incessant questions and curiosity bothered most people, but you found a way to answer them all with a style and flare uniquely your own. Your influence in my life has afforded me the courage to not be afraid to research and discover new things.

To Chanelle:  If fashion was a past time I think you would have passed time right into oblivion. Your love for clothes and dressing up continues to help me dress appropriately as a woman, yet find ways to keep it new and modern. I would watch you carefully choose from the collection as you affectionately called it; I simply called it a closet. But daily watching you meticulously fret over each piece of article of clothing taught me how to always have options. I’m not obsessive over clothes yet without the experience of watching you through the years, I would not have had the skill of observing and considering how each piece would fit together in life.

To Cindy: (Cinderella) You always made sure I was fed, clothed, felt loved and nurtured. Although your life has always been filled with children in some capacity or another, I’m glad that adding me to the mix was not a tedious chore among the long list of chores you have already acquired. The patience you exhibited while tending to my needs while watching me grow has rubbed off on me in small ways. It is true what is said that you don’t miss your water until the well runs dry. As an adult I often reach back and pull from the many words of wisdom and treasures you imparted into my life. There are no words capable of expressing the richness of your presence in my heart.

Mommy Dearest: It was not always easy to follow you from one temporary assignment to the next, but one thing for sure is that you made sure I was well taken care of by placing me in the very capable hands of my sisters/mothers. You will be proud to know that I have grown up and now live a life that you would be so proud of. Exceeding your education level and teaching my children to surpass my accomplishments in ways that I learned from you. Thank you for being that one woman show that showed me the way.

Present Day Naomi: You are the greatest woman I know. I continue to learn so much from you as you live by example, teach the truth, and gently guide my life into its fullness. Having so many sons and daughters in the faith; I am blessed to count myself among that number. Your watchful eye and firm yet gentle hands shape and mold my life so profoundly. The lessons you have already instilled will echo down through the generations of the women in my family as I teach them to my daughter and nieces.

If I could give a few words of advice to my readers it would be to respect, value, and appreciate the mothers in your lives as they all have something to contribute. It was not easy for me growing up under different mothering styles, but I wouldn’t change it because I now have a plethora of knowledge from which to share.

With Grace,

Lillian Cochran

Contributing Writer, B.L.O.G. Magazine

Lillian served four years in the US Navy as a corpsman and was deployed during Desert Storm. She is a mother of three, poet, published writer, evangelist, church administrator, and holistic life coach. She has a degree in behavioral science, metaphysics, healthcare administration, in pursuit of her PhD. Striving to set a good example for her children, she has a compassionate heart for helping others be at ease with themselves while assisting them to become the best that they can be. You can reach Lillian by email at Layde4real@live.com or on Facebook.