By Keshia Smith
Not all of the gifts given to your loved ones this Christmas need to be wrapped and placed under a tree. In Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages,” Chapman points out five ways that people give and receive love. Figuring out a partner, friend or family members’ primary Love Language can help you make them feel extra special this holiday season.
The Five Love Languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. A quick assessment test at www.5lovelanguages.com can show you what your primary love language is. Friends and family members may have a variety of different love languages.
Here are some ways to show that you care through all five love languages this Christmas, based on your loved ones individual love Language.
Words of Affirmation: If your loved ones primary love language is words of affirmation, compliments mean the world to them. These people love to hear the reason they are special to you. On the other hand, they are extremely sensitive to insults and verbal negativity. To make a person whose love language is words of affirmation feel special this holiday season, get personal with your holiday card. Personalize your message, telling them the reasons they are important to you.
Quality Time: People whose primary love language is quality time love to have someone’s full, undivided attention. They feel most loved when they are physically with someone, sharing the attention and company of another. On the other hand, distractions and postponed dates are very hurtful to them. You can utilize this love language this Christmas by letting your loved one know you want to be with them. Offer to go Christmas shopping together; ask if you can come to a family gathering early or stay later. Finding ways to spend time together will make this person feel most loved.
Receiving Gifts: Receiving gifts is already a common way we show love to each other around Christmas. However,do not mistake this love language from mere materialism; a hasty, thoughtless gift would make someone with this love language feel horrible. They thrive on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. They like to have something physical to remember your love by. You can express love through your gifts this Christmas by paying attention to what someone likes or what their interest are before buying them a present.
Acts of Service: People who value acts of service like to see that a loved one is willing to help them out on practical needs. They feel loved when others sacrifice themselves to help them. Laziness and broken commitments makes a person whose primary love language is acts of service feel uncared for. To show others that you love them through acts of service, sacrifice your time to help someone else. Offer to help them put the Christmas tree up, or to do the dishes for them after Christmas dinner.
Physical Touch: A person whose primary love language is physical touch are usually very touchy feely people in their day-to-day lives. They can physically show excitement, concern, care and love through pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm or soldier. On the other hand, they may feel unloved if you refuse to touch them or if they are touched in a hurtful way. To use this love language, greet your loved ones with a big hug when you see them this holiday season.
Though most people have one or two love languages that make the feel the most loved, you can show your love in multiple ways by using a variety of these tips. If you are unsure of what someone’s love language might be, it is easy to use multiples ones. Overall, being mindful of what might make a particular person feel appreciated should brighten your friends and family members holiday season.
Contributing Writer, B.L.O.G. Magazine
Keshia Smith is a student at Ball State University studying journalism and creative writing. In her free time she enjoys hanging out with friends, being artsy, and attempting to recreate recipes she found online. Keshia strives to glorify Christ in all that she does.