By Katrina Smith
One of the hardest parts of a parent is raising teen girls. We have three of them. I believe parents experience teen years to get a tiny glimpse of the frustration that God feels while dealing with us.
Last summer, my husband and I were going through our teen girls’ phones and found text messages that they were flirting and meeting boys at the park. We felt extremely angry, shocked, disappointed and betrayed.
We were newlyweds who prior to being married were both full-tome single parent who were very active in our children’s lives and were starting to loosen the reigns and allow them to get to know one another as a blended family. They would be getting ready to attend the same school both entering their first year of high school so we decided to trust them. Well, they messed that up.
Before I’m attacked by the modern day parents who don’t believe in snooping, let me allow you to marinade on this scripture from the portrait of a Godly woman from the good book of Proverbs:
“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness” Proverbs 31:27
This means that she kept a close eye on the influences of her family. Today that would mean she would monitor all of their communication and activity. She also did not eat the bread of idleness meaning, she was the parent. There were no substitutions, replacements or time fillers in her parenting. Today, that would be the excessive use of TV, radio, video games, MTV, BET, VH1, Reality TV, things that can bring a lot of negative programming into the mind and spirit of a maturing adolescent.
My kids are actually lucky with all of the disturbing things that I have discovered from research done for ministry that they don’t get a full body pat down and cavity search. Ministry starts at home. But I do have all of their passwords, access to their cell phones, email and I do flip mattresses, search in drawers, behind dressers and in shoe boxes. I find out about problems before they become larger. So yes, we snoop, as all parents should. Parents are agents for Christ and should be on the lookout for the serpent.
My mom, aunts and sisters were all teen mothers. I repeated the cycle by also becoming a teen mother as well so being a mother of teens naturally instilled a fear of my daughters repeating the same cycle of teen pregnancy. You can easily crack under pressure of the modern world of birth control and other forms of contraceptives. But we are Christians. We are to be apart from the world.
I have been told by so many people that I should put my daughter on birth control. But despite my fear, I refuse to give my daughter a pass to have sex. I have to stay strong, consistent, in the word and in prayer because God is the truth. I will not cower to societies standards. I will not compromise my daughter’s innocence. I will teach her in the way that she should go and talk to her of the facts, myths, consequences and repercussions. I will humble myself, share my testimony and the testimony of others. I will also compare it all to the word which is, “What would God think about this?”
It has made me think of false security. False security is something that deceives you into thinking that you are protected and insured. False security will make you confident so you become careless and open a portal of all sorts of evil. False Security is like an old, rusty lock that can easily be broken with just a tiny gust of wind. The rusty lock is for the lazy. It’s for those who don’t invest in the real thing because they put too much trust in the substitution.
Birth control may protect against pregnancy but it does not protect against STD’s or HIV. Even if there is both birth control and condoms, it does not protect against heartbreak, a bad reputation, gossip, rumors, disappointment, a breach in self-esteem nor does it hold tight to the only thing that have that you can never take back. It does not protect you from shame. Shame tends to lead you into despair making you vulnerable to even more self-destructive behavior. Purity protects you from a lot of preventable pain. Birth control is merely an old, rusty lock masking itself as security.
I had a brief rough patch with my oldest daughter and I received a lot of unwanted advice that would have caused me to waiver from the truth. Of course it always comes from people who are not parents, or haven’t faced the teen years yet or their children are all struggling with rebellion begging their parents to just parent and discipline them.
We are to raise our children unto the Lord, meaning stand firm even if it means against the world and God will keep His promises that the harvest will be bountiful. I am responsible for altering the past five generations of strongholds and generational curses. No, I will not waiver.
As for me and my household, the only security system we will be subscribing to is the armor of God.
“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” Ephesians 6:11
As for modern parents, please watch the video below. It should convict even the most attentive of parents. Rebellion is a just a sign that our kids need us to parent them!
Co-Founder, B.L.O.G Magazine™
The Co-Founder of B.L.O.G Magazine™, Katrina is a simple mid-western girl from the inner city of Indianapolis, In where she is an army wife, army mother. After teaching financial literacy in underserved communities for eight years, she is now the author and workshop facilitator for The Butterfly Movement book, workbook and workshops and is currently working on the production of her upcoming ‘twin’ books ‘Cinderella No Mor’e and ‘Independent No More’, both due to release simultaneously in the Summer of 2012. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter or contact her by email at firstname.lastname@example.org